Nathan is deathly ill, Ed is still MIA and James is still stuck at work(?), so Jesse and Dylan Condon of Dylan Does Talk hold down the fort this week. Jesse goes to Texas, we stumble into the 9/11 anniversary, the goddamn North Koreans launched another missile that’s fitting into an ongoing late Thursday afternoon pattern, Martin Shkreli is sitting in city jail in Brooklyn, and Jesse is excited for fall television. Twin Peaks is over (NO SPOILERS!), Curb Your Enthusiasm is coming back, BoJack Horseman’s fourth season is kicking Jesse in the nuts and South Park has returned! The newer Marvel stuff on Netflix sucks. Jesse loves Children of Men. Dylan hasn’t seen it because all he watches are How I Met Your Mother reruns. Phillip Rivers is a crybaby and Jesse loves That’s Good Broncos and Brandon Perna. Jesse tried to get him as a caller and he was down but Jesse had zero confidence in the phone system and decided not to follow up. Where’s Ed? Where’s JAMES? Jesse is employed again. Hurricane update! The Cuban Revolution fought off Irma! Pizza Hut called their workers in and threatened to fire people fleeing the storm. Also, everything is on fire. Trump thinks 100 people getting killed is not that many. Jesse keeps getting 12-hour bans on Twitter and clarifies what kind of idiot crap you can say on the internet without getting the Secret Service called. Jesse doesn’t get YouTube stars like PewdiePie but he likes h3h3.