Jesse & Friends Episode #18 – “What Up, Miami, I Want to Molest Your Senator”

SPORTS TALK?! What about James Comey, guys? Get the hell out of here! We’ll get to it. Hockey tonight, Nashville is really excited about their team and Jesse likes it because Nashville now has a sport. Jerry Seinfeld won’t hug Kesha. Steve Harvey’s show got stolen and nobody downloaded it. Ed is an old lady. Jesse continues to delay #ComeyDay talk. Bill Cosby is on trial. Jesse does the impression he initially retired because Cosby rapes people but has brought back as a “Cosby Rapist Character.” It’s probably a little loud and a tad on the nose. Comey’s testimony is brought up. Trump’s base has too many guns and is too protective and supportive of him for an impeachment process to move at a satisfying pace. John McCain had a stroke? Stayed up too late watching baseball? The fellas learn about the age range of the American Senate. Marco Rubio looks… molestable? Jesse “hopes” that terrible things happen to Rubio and Ted Cruz. Primary season is chaos. Nathan’s microphone is not working. Saudi Arabia hates a lady in an above ground pool so much they photoshopped a beach ball over her. The guys talk about where they don’t want to go, a “F*** It List” if you will.  Nobody wants to go to India or most of Africa. Nathan thought he fixed his microphone but it didn’t work. Wonder Woman is supposed to be real good. The Mummy with Tom Cruise is supposed to suck even though Tom Cruise made everyone throw up a thousand times filming his zero-G airplane stunt. Universal is trying to make old-school monsters a film universe. Leave the work of Alan Moore alone!

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