Ronald Reagan invented AIDS and crack to destroy the black community and kill gay people. It’s almost Memorial Day so Jesse cedes the floor to Cindy from the Not Normal Network, James and Ed to tell some military stories. Cindy had to scale a wall after a party, James had to build one, and Ed had to clean a hanger. Jesse is not impressed so they move on to hazing stories. It’s Jesse’s birthday and everyone sings the birthday song. Cindy says Dylan smells and then her and Jesse share a private joke about Friends without the rest of the cast noticing. Tentative Memorial Day plans include a KY Slip ‘n’ Slide and using rifle lubricant as a sexual aide. US Service People aren’t allowed to go into Okinawa, Japan anymore because they just couldn’t stop raping the locals. Cindy threatens Jesse with birthday rape in the parking garage. There’s a lot of really, really close calls to the swear jar.